Just a little neurotic

Today was a perfect day for a run. The sun was shining, the park beautiful green and running outfit clean in the closet (still with pricetags...). But as I pictured my perfect pace along the paths I remembered something - all those runners are in great shape! How would it be to compeet with all the slim people?! Suddenly my picture had changed to a half falling, half running stumble around the park with every bit of my body bouncing in all directions. But swinging up and down instead of side to side, overarms juggling next to my uncontrollable sideboobs and my tummy with a whole life of its own. You see, as I consider grocery shopping a sport (heavy bags, lot's of walking) nothing on me is firm, it's more like 5 packs of pink jello.

Logic #1: To run to get in shape - you must first be in shape.

So where does all the running people in the park go to get in shape? Is there a secret park somewhere they go to? Please, if you know where it is, tell me.

But a solution must be found - so instead of going out I simple stayed at home and hoped my below neightbours where not at home or very forgiving. I put on some good music and jumped around - from the hall to the kitchen and back for about 20 minutes looking like Phoebe in Friends. (it really is more fun!)

Now the plan is to do that Monday, Wednesday and Friday for 3 weeks and hope at least some things will be firm enough to show in public by then. Wish me luck.

If everything else fails I simply start running after midnight.

Here we go... again

As most women, I spend a lot of time wondering about my weight. Don't deny it, so do you!
So you probably tried the whole cycle as well - you know, start running and 'only quit for a couple of days' because it's raining, read a slimbook, shop (yet uneatin) wholewheat pasta - only to scuff down a big pack of cookies that same night? Yeah, we all do it.

But a couple of years ago I visited my sweet old granny for lunch. As we said our goodbyes she insisted that I'd take the last piece of cake with me as she needed to loose those 5 pounds. Everything stopped for a moment there - my 86 year old grandma is STILL on a diet. Is it never going to end!?! She passed away only two weeks later... she never made it.

It made me sit down and think about those blasted 5 pounds that seems to make all the difference in my life. I refuse to be on a unsuccesful diet for the next 60 years, why have a goal when you can never reach it?

So when I changed job, appartment and country last year it was a perfect opportunity for a fresh start. And I did loose those 5 pounds - but they're back. So this time to keep it, I decided to let the whole world (or at least those who accidentally flip by my blog) to know when I long for crap foods and let the guilt and exposure speak for itself.

So get ready for a inner-look of a womans head, her messed-up relationship with food, ups and downs and her logic on problems you never even thought of. Hopefully you'll discover that you are not that strange after all...